What’s the use in trying? I am never going to succeed anyway. Everyone hates me and is critical of me. No one is on my side or believes in me. I am good for nothing, useless, and worthless. These are not the feelings we want as we try to navigate life.
Sadly, far too many people feel as if they have little value or that no one cares about them. I am not talking about a passing low point that we quickly overcome. This is just part of life’s ebb and flow. The danger comes when we believe all of this doom and gloom stuff. When we think life is against us and we lose hope, then there is not much reason to keep going. I know people feel this way at times, but that does not mean they are right.
First, if “no one” liked me or if I am having trouble making friends, then maybe I should look at my own conduct. Some actions turn people off and rightly so. We can even offend others to a point where they want to do us harm. Peter warns, “Let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler.” (1 Peter 4:15) Gross and rude behavior will never endear us to anyone.
Just as we can drive others away by our actions, we can also make friends by treating people right. Perhaps we need to ask ourselves, “What traits do we want in our friends,” and then treat others the same way. Jesus said, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them.” (Matt. 7:12) I am looking for people who care about me and who will love me as God does. Friends need to tell me the truth when I am wrong and help me do better. They also need to show a little patience and kindness in their words and actions.
If you want to know the right way to treat people, the Bible gives God’s answer. He tells us what it means to be a faithful friend in the Lord’s Church. Christians know how to treat one another and, thankfully, they usually get it right. This is important because we need close ties in the local church. We face great trials in our faith and we need each other’s support.
I never read about any Christian being alone in the early church. There are cases of Christians abandoning other Christians, like when Demas left Paul or when no one stood with him at his “first defense”. (2 Tim. 4:10-16) However, Paul never felt alone because he knew many still stood by him, and above all the Lord. As he said, “The Lord stood by me and strengthened me.” (2 Tim. 4:17)
You may not believe others care about you, but they do. God sent His Son to die for you and Jesus willing came to offer Himself. The Holy Spirit unlocked God’s message and inspired teachers endangered themselves to get it out. Christians value your life and soul to a point where they teach even though you may reject them.
“The Christians at that local church never call to check on me, they never ask if I need anything, or want to know why I am missing. Those people are frauds and just don’t care about me.” If I feel like no one cares, then maybe this is another time when I need to examine myself.
Is it possible that I feel this way because I am not giving people much of a chance to show me their love and interest? I get to services at the last minute or late and leave just as soon as I can. Rarely, if ever, do I take part in anything extra or outside of Sunday morning worship. I almost never go to or host any social gatherings of Christians. Perhaps the real question is, how much do I care for my brothers and sisters in Christ?
God’s people care and do what they can to help one another reach heaven. We need each other’s support and push to remain faithful to our Lord. However, even if some Christians let us down, God never will.
For those who question their value and worth, remember God is your Maker. (Psalms 95:6) We enjoy the highest place in God’s Creation, wonderfully made by His hands. (Psalms 139:14) One soul, yours or mine, is more valuable than the riches this world offers. (Matt. 16:26)
If we think others devalue us then maybe we need to look inwardly again. Could the problem be that I am unhappy with my life and see myself as a failure? I know the effort I am giving and whether I am giving it my all. It is hard to feel good about myself if I routinely fail because I am lazy and do not give my best.
No one is worthless or useless in the Lord’s church. Paul said “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Rom. 3:23) We were all in the same lost conditions as sinner. Then Jesus came to save even the worst of sinners if they will repent and accept Him in baptism. Once a Christian each member has great value to a local church and can help the congregation grow. (Eph. 4:15-16) We can become a part of the most caring and loving group of people on earth.